conviction

you should know that i've been drinking Kool-Aid my entire life. powder, sugar, water, red. i can no longer tell if it tastes like anything- the flavor escapes me. life escapes us. moments drip drip drip through our fingers when we scoop them up to wash away yesterday's sins. playing God has never worked out in our favor. the blood of all the moments we've killed trying to redeem ourselves- we drown in it. we drip drip drip red as the conceited Kool-Aid conviction we downed to show just how loyal we can be to our faults. so what if my life is only a handful of powder i shook out of a single-serving packet? add sugar and water and i'll have just as much blood on my hands as you.