I’m the kind of girl who skips to the end of the book, because the ending of things sounds better than the beginning.

Abnormality is my genus - my kind

And normality will never be apart of my code. See i’m a blueprint for:

Screw up

Mess up

Shut up

Strung up

Fuck up, Fucked up

Locked up in my mother conservatism because her code reads different from mine

My Mother always said “that’s not lady like’ but maybe I’m just not the lady you want me to be. She never asked me “who do you want to be”

No, in her house,

Marble rings from the stereo

Perfect paintings sing the hallelujah chorus

Hardwood floors bury your heart and you

Can't hang pictures on the stainless steel refrigerator cause it will leave a scratch

Scratch into you a feeling of individuality

Gnash your skin of self worth

Scare your soul with love and acceptance- Put a bandaid on that you’re bleeding out, you’re making a mess, And your mess is not her problem

When I was young if you didn’t brush your hair it was chopped off

Tormented by razors and the sounds of scissors made my ears scream, your mane will be cut

Your being will be shaved

Your pieces are scattered but you’re blind, they have torn your eyes out to protect you from yourself, the pieces are missing

Lost from home

Lost from love

Lost from self

Lost from world

Look at me now, Do you know who I am?

I don’t know who I am

I’m not a cookie cutter child mom

Press me into the molds but I ooze havoc, Try to form me into a shape, I’ll melt, Push me into a box I don’t fit!

Sit me down, I stand up

Yell my name, I’ll yell louder

“That's not very lady like” But I'm still yelling

Our voices are wires running in the walls buried behind your cement mind, weighing me down with your unrealistic expectations

Your head hangs low mom, your eyes drop down to your stomach, your mouth is a permanent frown upon me

And it doesn’t matter if I stand in line, lower my voice, sit up straighter

Because you don’t know who I am

And you’ll never take the time to figure out.