The Cool, New (still the same) Version of Me

Before this point in time

When asked about growing up

And growing older

The first thing I’d think of doing

Was running far, far away

And never answers the question

I ignored the possibility

Of even getting older

Growing taller

And changing

Oh, how I hated change

I hated change with a burning passion

I had always loved my life and the way that it made me feel

Luckily, lately, I’m finally able to picture a grown-up

Older version

Of me

A person who can be happy, successful, and happy with life

A person okay with change, but still able to reflectively look back

One day when talking about college and my future

When instructed to project my near or far future

I was able to see myself older

Maybe a bit bolder

But who I saw

Was the best possible version of myself

Not with any specifics

Not any new, unforeseen personality traits

But she was moving on with her life

Moving through the high points and low points

And appreciating them all the same

However,

Even if I seemed to have grown

There’s still so much of me that’s left unknown

The struggle to get to know myself

Met with the struggle of not wanting to understand myself at all

Even though I’ve accepted high school

And being a senior

College is its own puzzle and mystery

With everything I’ll throw at my future college life

Will it solve my problems?

Will it answer my deepest questions?

Will it further help me finally understand myself?

I don’t know

I’m not sure if I’ll ever know

But I’m okay with going

I’m growing more okay with change and difference

So I guess that’s improvement

No

I know that’s improvement

And that’s pretty darn amazing

If you ask me