The Cost

His eyes shine bright like home

for in them I am never alone,

but it’s not real.

I feel lost,

abandoned as the cost of

living or dying?

I’m just not sure anymore.

I’m always torn between life and death

every breath like a battle

every thought like a war.

The shore in my mind makes me want to leave.

The breeze on the sea pushes me

deeper into an eternity of doubt and fear

where the coffin’s laid out for you, dear.

What are we doing here?

I don’t know anymore

now I’m halfway out the door

but you pull me back with the goodness in your core

and I love how your eyes shine like home

but you know I’m still alone as the sea

though you push and pull me like the moon

you’re too far away, it’s too soon.

At least that’s what I say

as I point the loaded gun my way

but I know if I shoot

you lose your home too

and we’ll be laid out side by side

for all to view.
So what am I supposed to do?

Is the cost of living too high when

if forces your sanity to die?

But what about the cost of dying?

Is it worth lying to save a friend

whose life was spent

waiting, debating,

the battle raging in their eyes too?

I know you found me but I never found you.

Your eyes shining bright like home

leave me feeling alone.

But now I know what to do.

I’ll stay holding on to you

until someday the cost of living

will only be the price of hope.