Counseling Session #1

I knew I loved you when you asked a simple question. It gradually grew and hit me like a sister tornado out of no where. Yet I haven’t told you because commitment is something I am still mastering here, having to go through spiritual counseling sessions.

The scream inside urges me to pry open and spit the debris out, though my counselor tells me that’s not a good idea. I ask him, “why can’t I tell him I love him? The feeing is really strong.” He said “Love is a strong word. Love is not a feeling but a choice.”

“I choose him and only him. But perfection is not what I am, so should I?”

“Sweet one, You cannot confess to him if you do not commit to I or yourself First”

I said to my counselor, “Commitment is not the problem, nor do I think perfection makes me worthy. I fear the false promise when he hears the words “I love you” yet my heart means “I really freaking love you, though when the time comes to take the next step, I won’t be ready”.

“You will never be ready, that is why I’m here. Trust my timing and I will bless your years.”

“I have one last session coming up soon, so my last question to all your wisdom is “when should I tell him....or shall he tell me one day soon?”

My dear one, I love you. Sweet child don’t overthink. I have put you two together to change hearts and minds one story at a time. So with one more blink you must peacefully fall asleep; believe faithfully that He also wants to say the words “I love you”. Remember that Loving one another is not a crime. It’s a beautiful story, about hearts of the most divine, woven together in a fearfully and wondrous design.