Countdown.

The Morning Sun creep-ed through the curtains that covered the large window
That one, little twinkle shot me in the eye.
Blink once: blurred.
Blink twice: blind, on the account that I didn't have my glasses on.
I grabbed them and sat them upon my face
Laid back and looked upon the ceiling.
Shut my eyes -- but opened them back up -- and started daydreaming.

Swirling in a black and turquoise high-lo dress
Black pumps and purse all in hand
Long black-ombre hair in messy bun
Make-up running but who cares
It's no one to appreciate the effort
Cool rain settling on my hot, chocolate skin
So hot, you can hear the rain sizzle
But that's not the point
I looked into the sky, leaking eyes and soaked clothes
And smiled...
It was real too.
That genuine feeling arose from the dead and planted a big, long awaited smile
Upon my face
You don't know how good it felt.
For that split second, I knew what it felt like to be just happy.
When you have nothing but yourself and time, that's happiness....in a sense.
Then, that one drop landed by my eye
And reminded me of why I cried
So I broke down in the middle of street
Smeared make-up all over my dress
Hair out of the bun, goddamn all this distress
Shows you how long being happy can last you...
So I sat criss-cross, applesauce in the middle of the right lane
And sang childish theme songs, starting from the one with the Great Dane
I closed my eyes when I got to the one about that Aardvark kid
Towards the end of the song he yells at his sister.
["Hey D.W."]
But I was still in the street, so instead I whispered to myself.
"Hey, there's a BMW."
And she yells back "Hey" and he falls
So it honked the horn...but I didn't fall
Like I wanted to.
Instead, I was greeted with a helping hand and a courteous side-smile...
The beauty that rested upon their face was refreshing
Helped me up and looked me in my eyes.
I looked him in his, but my subconscious was being an ass
By leading him in from a blur.
But I knew what this meant
I was going to clock back into reality in 5.
I pleaded to stay a little longer
4.
I wanted to see his face because his build was familiar.
3.
"Hi, my name is..."
2.
PLEASE DON'T WAKE ME UP....
1.

"Would you believe me if I said I'm in love? Baby, I want you to want me."
Back into reality, I cried.
That once sense of refreshment all ruined by a text message.
Passcode, pop-up text...anger...
So. Much. A N G E R ...
But why do you care?
I'm always rambling on...
I'm always bringing you down.
That's why I say "I'm fine." all the time
So I don't bother you with my emotions.
So I don't waste your time with my fakeness and lies.
Because only one person knows all of my thoughts
Why I'm sinning.

But why do you care?
All you sent me was "Hey.."
I can have a conversation I guess.
But I'd much rather go back to my daydream
Instead of plotting a fucked-up scheme.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741