Couple poem
heard a forty-year-old couple fighting.
The words were nails.
They kept hammering.
It felt like they shouldn’t be together here—
in a mall.
I thought it’s not worth a chance.
We’ll end up like that,
a cartoon train derailed,
fighting like our lives depend on it.
No matter how hard we try to stay away,
entropy waits.
Then I ate sweet corn
and walked around.
I saw them sitting in the thinning crowd,
quiet on a bench.
The sting of bad mouths still there.
But
he is holding her tight,
her head on his shoulder.
I love you.
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▾ This Poem's Voice
Your Poem's Voice
PersonalThemeAbstract
Personal observation of couple evolves into philosophical meditation on love and entropy.
SparseMeasureDense
Moderate pacing; concrete scene-setting mixed with abstract reflection on relationships.
DarkSentimentBright
Starts negative (fighting, derailment) but shifts toward redemption and tenderness.
StillEnergyExplosive
Restrained intensity; harsh imagery tempered by quiet, contemplative moments.
MicroLengthEpic
22 lines falls in mid-range 16-30 line category.
PlainFigurativeOrnamented
Strong metaphors (words as nails, train derailed, entropy); maintains concrete clarity.
LyricVoiceDramatic
Pure lyric internal consciousness; subjective observation and emotional reflection throughout.
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