the courage i lacked

1. the courage I lacked

I have not been courageous enough to man up

I have not been confident enough to swoop away the chances

Chances keep raining on me but l put on an umbrella

What kind of rain do I need for me to have a bumper harvest?

Do l need someone’s machinery to sow my own seeds?

Do l need more divine intervention?

When things are provided for me without asking

All l need is that one touch to score a superb goal

I need to stop being lazy for me to hit a six

I have the bat in my hand and the ball comes my way

And all l do is leave the ball to the wicket keeper

Does it need to rain chocolates for me to break that barrier?

Why do l have to drown on reaching the safe grounds?

Why do l have to faint on reaching the finishing line?

Fear overtakes me at last

Spirit of losers infiltrates into me when it’s to win

For how long will l know defeat?

When will l know the good things of life when l am afraid?

Truly, procrastination is the fear of success

Fear of seeing good things manifest in my life

For how long will l live to regret

Fulfilling other people’s wishes whilst my things are at halt

My car is not even accelerating but am catalysing other people’s things

Do l need an external resultant force?

For me to move when l have enzymes to speed my reaction

Perhaps my enzymes are denatured

But l need that leap of faith to activate them once again

I know change is with me and I am change

Once l change everything changes

Everything does not have to change for me to change

Because change begins with me

I am the change I need for me to change

And my change changes everything I need to change

I have to change for a change so as to bring change

What more do l need

When chances are provided for me on a silver platter

All l need is to put the food in my mouth

Because the food is on the table

Do I have to starve, really, when the food is there?

It’s high time I begin to act

I show up to those I love and those who love me

For how long will l stay in my corner?

Smoking and crying

Will they ever get to know me?

Moreover will l get to put a smile on their faces as usual?

It’s time to be real

Time to express myself

Time to stop living like a coward

I belong to champions

By the grace of the Most High

Change is coming

To live and not stay

Because living is permanent and staying is temporary

Regret is not my portion

I deserve a smile