Coward

I played with the trigger

felt the sleekness of the bullets,

felt the sense of relief as I practiced pulling the trigger

I remembered the pain i felt everyday

the misery I wanted to end

I saw flashes of smiling faces

I sat there

and remembered my promise to go to college;

My promise to stay brave

I put the gun away,

my chest tightened.

I felt alone

I felt like a coward