Making my way home, I remember your vibrant smile.
Your beautiful shining eyes.
Your contagious laugh that lights up a room.
And how you take care of all the sick patients.
As I drive, the warm sun hits my face
And there are no other cars on the road
The trees shimmer and sway in the wind
Just as your golden locks of hair
On the passenger seat, the strap of your purse lays
I remember you were so busy you did not notice
When it got stuck in the door
And broke from your bag, though I never take it out
When I arrive, the driveway is as empty as my heart
You were so busy that day
You didn’t even see the oncoming car
And though it happened so long ago, I remember everything about you
Imagine my surprise, then, as I open the door
to find you standing in the kitchen
to find you holding white roses in your arms
As tenderly as a mother holding her child.
‘I’ll be gone in a moment’ she says
And because it’s true
and this is my last chance
My apology comes pouring out like word vomit
“My dear, my love,
I am so sorry I did not warn you
of the speeding car,
I am sorry I made you angry, so that you left so quickly
too quickly to notice the traffic on the road
I would take it all back, I would save you,
Please return to me my love.”
There is a terrible moment of silence,
as awkward as standing onstage with 50,000 people
Silently staring at you, and you say
“I’m sorry too, but you can’t take it back”
“Please,” I say, wondering how many different ways
there are to fail to say something, but that’s when I see
Him, the most perfect image of a man I had ever seen.
I knew who he was, it filled me with rage, yet with peace at the same time.
I don’t remember what happened next,
Just the sound of the gun,
The feeling of numbness
The smell of blood
That is all.
But now the strap of her purse is covered in blood
To forever lie on the kitchen floor in my hand
At least we could be together now.