The Crisis

here I sit, quiet and alone my mind for some reason is travelling backward to the carelessness and freedom of my childhood. many days I spent entertaining myself and sometimes my family. I can remember a multitude of joyous afternoons chasing butterflies and early evenings spent trying to catch fireflies. yet there were also a good amount of nights where I wondered where my father was. love, attention, and praise for my goodness at school or home was always present yet I couldn't quite figure out why I felt so incomplete inside. as time does, it waited not... it continued to progress while I still struggled and wrestled with these feelings I couldn't understand or repair. I asked why so many times and just got the same response and it never made me feel at ease so I decided to find you. I tried a few times to locate you but my attempts were ill-fated I was so young then... desperate to find you, desperate for understanding. Now that I am older and have experienced many things that have made me stronger and more resilient, I feel that I have to know you. There is so much about myself that I don't know from whence it came... I know now that the incomplete feeling that lives in my soul is the epitome of my identity crisis. I am determined to find you so that I can discover myself I'm ready to connect Ready to form some type of bond... They say you can't miss you've never had... that may be true in some cases but for me, I have always missed what I needed... my father, his family, the other part that makes me who I am. I will find you and finally have more of an identity. And then maybe that gnawing, incomplete feeling will finally fade away.