Critique

I read your letter,

I read the words you wrote so nice,

Correcting your grammar,

As I try to cope with all of the things you say to me,

I try to control my hellish screams,

You see, I wrote to you about my love,

I told you all my selfish dreams,

I wrote you poems,

You tell me I’m too innocent 

But I can surely see,

The things you cannot feel,

I love you, You like me

You like things just the way they are

I love you, You like me,

I’m saying I can’t go on like this

I cannot forget everything,

Why would do this,

Why can’t you just let me in,

Why can’t you answer,

Why won’t you tell me anything,

Tell me you’re broke,

Tell me you’re patient,

Tell me you’re honest,

I know I can take it,

Tell me you like me,

Tell me you’re sober,

Tell me you like when I talk about honor,

Tell me how I make you feel,

Tell that this cannot be real,

Tell me you love me,

It’s not that hard,

I’m saying I love you,

Just for who you are,

I love the things you make me say,

I love how you make me feel that way,

Because I love you, More than anything,

Yes, I love you, More than any ring,

But you can’t help it,

You need your own space,

You can’t accept it,

So you try to erase, me,

 You like things the way they are,

You can’t accept that things are supposed to change

I told you all the cute little things you make me see,

I wrote you the words so you would see,

That you could’ve been the one, Who let me take control,

And help me see that I’ve been missing something, My whole life.

I find it hard to look at you anymore,

I find it hard to braid your hair,

I found it hard when all our friends hid in the bathroom up the stairs to do your make-up

You didn’t want me to see.

It felt like you didn’t want me.

I don’t eat lunch with you, anymore,

I cannot focus in class.

I cannot sit behind you every day until, You see me

You tried to let me down easy,

You tried to tell me why,

You hoped we’d be okay,

But how can you expect me to be fine?

All I wanted was for you to be mine.

And you just said no.

I looked past all your insecurities,

I looked past all the ways you wouldn’t talk to me.

I looked past all the times you tried to keep your distance,

I  let myself love you.  

I  liked all your quirks.

I told you what I wanted.

You told me you wanted to say right here, crushing, never moving forward.

I can’t wait any longer.

I can’t wait for something that’s never going to happen.

I can’t just forget this and keep crushing on you because now I see you in a different light.

I see how you don’t let anyone close.

You don’t like to let people in, even friends.

You don’t like it when people get too deep,

But all I wanted was for you to trust me.

All I wanted was for you to let me be the one you would text when you had a bad dream.

I wanted to have someone to turn to when my emotions came to be too much.

I wanted someone to love and to be adorable with because love is what I hold highest in life.

You made me realize that I like girls.

You made me want you and you made me so jealous when you talked to Her.

I just wanted to kiss you.

If I don’t I’ll never know, but now it feels wrong.

Now that you’ve rejected me I feel disconnected from you.

All this time I thought you were warming up, you were really just shrinking back inside yourself.

I can’t say I still want to kiss you.

I can’t say I even still know you.