CROP DUSTER

The Xbox aisle at Best Buy

always grabs my attention

But when I get bad gas

my ass fails in its retention

I tried to hold back,

but it got the best of me at last

I crop dusted the Xbox aisle

with a nasally fatal dose of my gas

Down the throat it went of

two chicks and one guy

but even this gag-job was too much

it brought tears to their eyes

Choking and dry heaving

their stomach turned in knots

as I sit and reveled in their torment

like I had just delivered a head shot in Black Ops

Drowning in my shit

that's filling up their throat

they grab at their esophaguses

trying to keep their nostrils closed

The guy turns to one girl and says,

“I'd rather smell your pussy, then this!”

To which she replies,
“This smells worse than your ball sack when I'm sucking your dick!”

I stepped out of hiding

and I began to snicker

By telling this couple

“There's no need to bicker!

For this fragrant fart

I'll take credit where it is due

for only my ass could make a fart

that smells so obnoxiously rude

It's like opening up a coffin

and taking a whiff of death

but little did I know

it would also take away your breath

So suffocating the air

was this horrid stench

That it could grow hair on a billiard ball

and make a garbage man wince

Please accept my apology

if it's not too late

I never meant to offend you

with my attempt to defecate

We've stood here talking shit

this we know is true

I hope we can get past this point

for all the shit I've done to you

It's obvious to me

your anger I have riled

while standing here and airing shit

from the comfort of this Best Buy Xbox aisle”

They looked at me, and with a grin

they coughed, and wheezed, and snorted

They let me know in their special way

their forgiveness was imported

Now that this is over

we are back to where we started

to the Xbox aisle checking out Gears of War

right before I farted!