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A Crush

by Eunoia

You are so beautiful A flower treasured forever inside the pages of a book. Hidden beneath the covers Deep within the heart Only known to a whisper few The secret It makes me feel warm A fuzziness that blooms in my insides, and A tingle up my spine A feeling of new I taste the scent of autumn Leaves coming And a devastating frost to come forth I keep you safe from all of that In the furrows of my mind My thoughts to keep thy company And warm at the hearth of my fire I never tire from the long walks we have together Hand held in hand dreaming countless dreams, staring into each others eyes. What do you think when I stare at you across the hall? When my cheeks grow warm at your glance? I look away too fast to catch your features react I just wish you knew How much I care about you That I love you
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Eunoia

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Comments (6)

Eunoia
<p>I understand, that makes sense, &quot;thy&quot; just seems so soft compared to &quot;you&quot; though. But I suppose it stands out, I cant write like how they used to it, it is impossible because the world has changed so much from that. And TS Eliot wrote about that, we can&#39;t stop writing though we just have to find a new way instead of imitate.&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Thanks again!</p>
QV
<p>I enjoyed your poem, its different from most on this site because of the extended metaphor you used (the flower buried in a book known to a few). May I suggest continuing this metaphor? In a sense, transforming the poem (since the person is already unknown) into an image of spring, and unreciprocated feelings as movement from one season to another. I think you did very well in the second line of the second stanza (using the word bloom) because this is nature symbolism. A word of advice, if you are writing a modern poem, as attractive as it is, try not to use archaic words like thy thou, etc. I was given this advice in my early years of writing poetry when I tried to sound more &quot;English&quot; and had forced rhymes like &quot;thou/how&quot; (something like that. You are a modern poet (well postmodern), so the act of sharing your emotions through the spoken (because this is slam) word is powerful enough without imitations. Charming poems. Q.V.</p>
Eunoia
<p>thank you! What might make you enjoy it more?</p>
Shaynah Woody
<p>Nicely written.</p>
Eunoia
My first Comment! Why, thank very much!
Jwinzer
This is AWESOME

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