Crushed

That ever-so-familiar feeling:

The one that keeps you constantly reeling;

The one that makes your heart beat like thunder;

Will it always feel like this, I wonder?

My hands are sweating and I am blushing,

And soon all of my words will be gushing.

I put on my best calm, composed display.

Or maybe I could wait a few more days?

Questioning, uneasy, aching, and tense.

All of this makes absolutely no sense.

I cannot fathom being excited - 

What if everything is unrequited?

My brain says one thing, my heart another.

I do not mean to make such a pother.

Nerves heighten and adrenaline courses, 

What are these strange, otherworldly forces?

Let me take a moment and a breather.

I don’t know why I’m doing this either.

So subliminal yet monumental.

Will we see this day as sentimental?

I begin to pour my heart out to you,

But you don’t seem to have a single clue.

I am replaying this talk in my head,

Who knew I would be filled with so much dread?

I swallowed my pride and approached you first, 

And now my heart feels its absolute worst.

I promised myself to remain truthful;

Is this supposed to make me feel youthful?

Never again, never again, I say.

But somehow I'm actually okay. 

Maybe this honesty was good for me; 

I can live unapologetically.