crushed or crushing it

I am realizing that I don't know how to be empty. Even at my lowest I find my throat full of words Demanding to be shouted, My chest full of pain Demanding to be felt, My fists full of hopes I cannot crush between my fingers Fragile, Like the eggshells I can never walk on. You told me I always have to have the last word, But I didn't know there would be a last word in a conversation. I just keep searching for someone who will crush eggshells with me, Our hands grasping together With all the uncertainty and hesitancy Crumbling in our palms Shouts in our throats held back by only our lips Together Chests bursting into each other In a release that remembers That pain is a thing that happened once And again But louder this time. Because when you put two live wires close enough You will get a spark And if you push it closer There is an arc, A current of energy Between what is wanting And what is wanting more, And who am I to tell the difference? The only resistance I understand Is in ohms and in moans. The only resistance in my heart Is what it takes to make the muscles leap. The only hesitation I have is the second before that arc completes And my heart pumps And my throat screams And I crush the doubts between my fingers And the pain and the hopes blossom into dreams.