Crushed & Tired

My head is spinning round and round.

I feel dizzy, but can't sit down.

My heart feels like it's going to bust.

I grab my chest in hopes of calming it.

My grades are slipping.

My heart is torn in two.

I'm stressed to the point of being sick.

I can't breath or move or sleep.

People constantly ask "What's wrong?"

I try to speak, but it comes out in a jumbled mess.

I don't feel good enough.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever am.

I've paid my dues and come to terms with my demons, but I still feel as if I'm imprisoned.

I try not to care what others think.

'Rise above those who have scorned you."

Words that used to get me through the day.

But, with each mistake, I only want to escape and hide away.

I don't claim to be something I'm not.

What you see is what you get. Or is it?

Do I dare show you my tears, my frustration, my screams?

Show I show you my failures?

The weight my depression and anxiety crushing me with each passing second?

Can you stand to see the pain I'm in, or do you say that it's my fault?

I want to scream, I want to shout!

I'm tired of feeling sick and never good enough.

I hate having to feel insignificant to someone else's problems.

People say that's all in my head.

That I should get over it and grow up.

That maybe true to them, but not to me.

I'm tired of being put on hold because someone else is begging for attention.

I'm tired of feeling like I can't do anything.

I'm tired of being crushed...

But overall... I'm tired....