Cut Cut

CUT CUT

 

At 15 i shared a story with my sister

Only started sharing this same story recently

She would CUT CUT to mend her broken heart and so do I

She would CUT CUT and i would see the scars

"what are you doing?" i asked

She turned around, hot tears burning her once happy face and says nothing

We share a story

CUT CUT

 

Until one day she felt a new life, a life on her womb

She started to see the errors of her ways and tries to rehabilitate not only herself but myself as well

 

CUT CUT

 

There was a point in my life where i coulnt take the pain

The pain of feeling abandond by the two who gave me life

The pain of not being able to trust anyone

The pain of wondering what "love" is

 

Years go by and i find the one person who ends life as i know it

Days go by and he changes my perspective on "love"

A month goes by and my heart is torn to pieces bacause of him

A month goes by, we are together but broken in an instant

 

Nights of crying myself to sleep i write this letter to her, wondering if i am going down the same path as she

 

Jessy, never had i thought i would find a guy like him

I remember i would see you, crying. Your once happy eyes out searching for his love

Now i am doing the same

Never say that it was your fault for this mistake that i have made

It wasnt your fault, it was mine

It was me, me being the one who was blinded by love, not wanting to accept the fact that i too would be hurt in the end

 

Five months later i am still hurt and crying i always find myself singing "saty with me for a while, stay witj me and ill smile. Never leave and youll see stay with me will you please"

She sees me crying, searching for his warm embrace

She knows what i am going through

Everyday i look into her eyes and i hope one day she would come and say

 

Wendy, 

I told you countless of times "dont get attached" but you have failed me

Wendy you can do so much better, but you had to go and pick him

I know that saying this to you will not help your situation, but i know that deep in your heart, even though you say to all that youre not, you are still in love with him

I hoped you wouldnt learn this the hard way but you have

Learn from my mistakes and what i have done 

Stop where you are

Stop tourturing yourself, by wondering when youll be his again

Stop waiting for his return and go up to him anf say what you really feel 

And if he doesnt feel the same way as you do well then it wasnt ment to be

Sometimes i wish you could understand this "now alone or not you gotta walk ahead. Thing to remember is, if we are all alone then we are all together in that too"

You knew killing the lonliness is hard, but killing yourself in the proccess is not healthy

So stop, just stop

Stop hurting yourself

And stop the 

CUT CUT