Cycling

You know that feeling you get when you're close to your period?

All the symptoms kick in as you tell yourself

"oh God, please don't be pregnant"

As if you don't doubt yourself already

About your life choices, your job,

if you're living your full potential...

If you're happy, (are you?)

You have to worry about whether or not you'll

throw a child into all this mess. 

And it all just sorta... consumes you

Drags you down like an anchor

of perplex emotions and confusion

You start getting edgy

and argue about the important petty things

Like, Is he ALWAYS going to be like this?

Am I gonna be able to deal with this my whole life?

What about if a baby comes into the picture...?

I can't, No. I need to say something

I need to Do Something.

And then of course, he'll tell you you're being "extra"

And you get mad at him for not taking you seriously...

He doesn't even read you

as you lock yourself up in the bathroom fighting back tears

Anguished, a lump the size of a rock gathers in your throat

As you walk out the bathroom you try hard not to say a word (scared that your voice will tremble)

You're no longer mad, you're hurt (for whatever reason you can't pinpoint)

He asks you if you're okay and tells you he loves you

And though you hate yourself for thinking this,

(you're a girl, you're strong, you can't make this an excuse)

you cut back the urge to say

"It's my time of the month"