D-I-V-O-R-C-E
Divorce was always an ugly word.
My parents got a divorce when I was 3
And all I could see growing up
Was how much
They resented each other.
And I couldn't help but wonder
Why they got married in the first place.
What possessed them to take the plunge,
When they argued so much to begin with?
I would never be like them.
Marriage is for life.
But here I am.
I haven't worn my wedding ring in over two months
And I just told him I want to talk about getting a divorce.
What a fucking hypocrite.
BUT
Hasn't that been my whole life?
I'm just a hypocrite
I keep redefining myself
And...GROWING
And I think
...
I think we just grew apart.
We were 16 and 17 when we started dating
And 19 and 20 when we got married.
We were so fucking young.
Just two kids that were so in love.
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And I miss that more than anything.
But I don't think we can ever go back
To the way we were before.
And sometimes that's just life.
I started thinking last night
About what I would think
If I was watching myself now
Like a movie.
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What if tomorrow is the day I die
and today is just my life
Flashing before my eyes?
Would I regret this being the end?
Is this as good as it gets?
Is this all there is?
NO.
There has to be more to life than these four walls.
And I just need to run...
RUN
Until I find
The ocean.
Maybe then
I will be happy again.
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