Dad.

Dear Dad,

I’m writing you this letter to let you know that I’m lucky to have a Dad. Most of my friends don’t have their fathers with them. Some are in jail, Got divorced, Died or just simply left when their child was born. But yet again it’s like I never did have a dad. Didn’t really get to know you.

You would always work from sun up to sun down. Never got to see your face because our schedules never collided. You would come home every night and I would be in bed.  Hearing only your footsteps and your voice made me imagine what you looked like. Matching your voice with a body. Tall and bald or short and hairy. I never did know.  I was 5.

        We would make up stories together. You would sit on the edge of my bed right before my eyes closed for the night and we would let our imagination lose. Making up wild stories about a Princess and a alien that lived in the bottom of the sea. Laughing all night, bursting in tears. Then I had to make up stories for my dolls because you didn’t come to be The Great Story Teller. When you took me to school you only said “Good Moring”. It was my birthday and you forgot. The day when you felt the warmth of my skin and me call out your name for the first time, You simply forgot. My tiny world was hit by a HUGE tsunami of pain. My feelings were washed away. I was only 7.

You left for two months. I begged my mom to let you back. Back home where we all belonged. I pulled her hard; her arm was full of the evidence from my scratches, desperate attempts to pull an explanation from her soul.  I never thought that would have been the last time I would see you. I was 10.

We moved in with my Abuela. TWO years without you. Only your voice on the phone. No more stories. No more tears. I was 12.

YOU MISSED MY 8th GRADE GRADUATION!

Your list of priorities:

1)   your cars

2)   your clients

3)   your tools

4)    your rest

5)   everything else

ME

I cried again. The tears were fire down my cheek and I realized I didn’t matter.  I was 14.

I fell in love with Jesus and you fell in love with theory. I found a Father in God and you couldn’t even see that I was your daughter. I found acceptance and you denied it was possible. I felt love and you fell away.  I was 16.

Its like I don’t know you. Every time I over think of who you are tears are brought to my eyes of desperation trying to figure out who you are in my life. Are you someone I should go to in time in need or just some who just their to provide. A bank in my physical eyes but a dispatcher of lies in my soul.

Dad: deserver and disappointment

Sinerely, Your Forgotten Daugter