For Dad

The happiest day of my life was the day you were born

Those words echo through the phone line

A promise is a promise

Remember that?

You spoke those words to me so many years ago

In a hushed tone

Arms wrapped around me keeping me warm

A feeling of safety as I closed my eyes that now I'll never know

Now those arms are broken

Mangled and torn

As a bird needs its wings

I need that embrace that is no more

I'm so young you say

The world at my feet

But inside I'm so weary from the pain you've caused me

Left with nothing you say

And you're right

I have no words of reassurance and no arms to hold you tight

You can almost see the emptiness

That has become your life

As you clutch that bottle of clear liquid

That has replaced your wife

Everything you had is now gone.

But there's a spark of something…

You saved your sister you say

If it weren't for you she would have died

But now she's left you too...

For a white hospital room

Do you ever wish you were dead?

I don’t like to say that

There could be big things ahead…

I hear the hesitation in my own voice

My conscience won't let the question go.

I dreamt that night of a bell ringing

Soft music playing 

And in that dream I saw a pair of arms

Holding you so tight

Your eyes were closed

Yet I could still see the smile in your eyes

Peace is on its way to you of that I'm sure

And then one day this tragedy

The addiction

Will disappear in the abyss

And be no more

Remember that, dad