Daddy Issues

I wish you could have watched me grow up

I wish you had held me when I was scared,

You treated me like I was a hiccup

Almost like you hadn’t cared

I wish you could have known I was a “daddy’s girl”

I wish you could have seen,

All the pain you seemed to cause

Poured out me like a stream

A stream of tears

A cry of sorrow

I always thought you’d be there tomorrow

But when you weren’t

I wasn’t sad

Cause I knew you weren’t that type of dad

The dad I needed to love me

The dad I needed to know,

The dad who abandoned me as a child,

Like a light that lost its glow

I felt so empty

I felt so odd,

I felt too different

Like my life was something flawed

For a while I was black

The color of despair,

My mom thought she lost me forever

As I continued to grow a flair

A flair of hate

A flair of anger

A flair of emotions

That led to danger

I’d like to say I’ve overcome this pain

Like there’s just no feelings at all,

But then I’d just be lying to myself

And my soul would begin to fall

But if this hadn’t happened

I wouldn’t be who I am today

That strong, loving, charismatic blonde girl

Who could make a crowd start to sway

I wish I would have had the chance to have a dad

Bull I’ll never know

I’ll never get to see what it would be like

To have a dad to help me grow