Damage

as i sit alone in this world i realize that happiness can never sustain, these constant occurances i notice only bring about pain, yet i try over and over hoping for better outcome, but the result stays the same and i feel torn, lost, and mainly dumb i will never know the feeling of lust or love is what it may seem, maybe achieving these things is only a dream, and if that is the case i have dreamed more than any human being in existence, i want to leave it all, run away, fall from the earth, reach the greatest dictance, i always put others first and leaving myself behind, not realizing the pain stricken road in front of me i'm so blind, blinded by lust or love , feelings i wish i could feel for sure oblivious to the fact that those are just silly things i wish to recieve more although i am deeply saddened there is still nothing i regret, nothing i said, nothing did, no one i met, one day i hope i am blessed with someone that can give me an equivalent amount of devotion, because as of right now to much has been done to damage my emotions.