Damned

Out in public again, surrounded by couples, refuge from the sight is sought A constant reminder of love ever lost, alone in this world Ill rot Being myself is never enough, no one ever wants me Hope fades with age it gets worse every day, joy I will never see Plagued by depression and ravaged by nightmares, my demons tear me apart Awake in my bed screaming but my bodies intact, At the break of dawn they depart Sadness and Anger are all I feel, for the opiate of Numbness I beg I have friends and family but Im useless to them, when Im on my final Leg My apartment or restaraunt it doesnt matter, theres no one there but me All of my friends settled down with another, looking in youd think Im free Inept, unloved and disregarded, I cant play your fucking game To go on living alone in this world, would indeed be such a shame I long to be loved, I long to be touched, to be held and told im enough I worked on myself but it doesnt matter my quest always ends in rebuff Natrual Selection, Survival of the fittest, call it what you will I cant change Im no good indeed, in my hands my fate will seal Everyone has someone they dont understand, my pain that is ever present This hurts too much I can no longer take it, tonight I will end my torment In the bathroom mirror stares the reflection, of this shell of a man that I hate The gun in his hand now seized to his temple, chance of success is high rate That man is me we're one in the same, of detachment there is no point Im too far gone theres no turning back, no soul to save or anoint This is not what i want so i stop to think for a reason to go on and live Im so useless and ineffective I really have nothing to give Tears fall freely the gun hasnt moved, theres no way Im backing out Theres is no tomorrow, there never was, Of happiness an unending drought The trigger is pulled the bang is loud, sudden and violent my death Walls painted red in a pool of crimson I exhale my final breath Hell is real its where I woke up, Oh God what have I done I made my choice and sealed my own fate, from this fact I cannot run Im no longer alone but Im surrounded by demons, again they tear me apart Just like my nightmares that always fortold, I was already dead from the start