dampen the noise

i no longer sink into my bubble bath and read Junie B.

(but she's still a friend of mine)

i no longer struggle over telling time 

(but i still struggle to manage it)

i no longer question everything and anyone, unapologetically

(but i can't say the same about my thoughts)

why have i eradicated my inner child?

what has she deserved to be erased from existence?

she deserves to be listened to, admired, loved, respected, venerated

she's a princess 

she's at the core of who I am 

it begins and ends with her

i  used to speak my mind freely but now it's frequencies are dampened by the curtains i've put over my perspectives

now my mouth is more filtered than fiji

i've quieted my opinions of people, the world, and injustice

all because i'm afraid to admit that i'm afraid of the responses and the conflicts that ultimately follow

i realise now that i'm not the same girl i was in 2006

but just because i've grown a few feet, matriulated some grades (and learned how to tell time properly) doesn't mean inner child H is gone

i know now that when i voice my opinion and view of the world i shouldn't be the one to stifle it or change it to fit anyone's expectations

-H