The Dance
Maybe, behind the mask of makeup and mascara, I can be bold,
Brave enough to not be scared, frightened at the prospect of people
The party, I can deal with the party, but…
I see a stranger in the mirror
She’s hot, firey darkness in her eyeshadow and dress
I never look at myself like that, no one would, but for just one night I-
Hey, friends!
We can all go to the dance at- where is the club?
Wow, really?
At the top of the world, 40 floors to fly
The elevator dings, dings, dings, quickly- in time with my heart
Stepping out with the group, but not a part
There are seats, tables plenty, but, ugh, where should I sit
Because everyone has a date, and every table has an even number of chairs and
2, 4, 6, 8, and… me
I know that doesn’t add up, that defies math, and I didn’t need to do a derivative of anything
So, sitting alone, sullen, someone pities me,
Preforms a L’Hoptals of kindness and places a chair in the middle of a pair for me
She tries to get me to branch out, talk, but I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING
So I hide in the corner of my mind while the group around me, half strangers,
Say silly things like sausages and sweethearts
Munching on fancy food, far too formal for me
Fearing later when I will rip my dress or fall dancing or, even worse
Be found a fool
But the others beg for songs to play
And I must smile and go wish with them
As I can’t be alone and play cards, solitary,
Like the wallflower I wish to be
The music thumps, throwing sound waves out to shake the windows,
The only barrier between us and the storm, raging outside
And the city far below, stars on the ground
I could fall, fly, and be free, freer than in this dress and watching these happy people
Dancing and swaying to the first slow song of the night, and-
Oh, she saw me at the glass, waves me over to a chair with her date
A smile grows on my face as we converse
Not just from having someone to help me be happy, put up with me
But also ‘cause I felt lonely…
I feel lonely, all that shoved into my face
So it’s a bit of a problem, she’s hanging on to her “friend’s” neck
And being as lovey-dovey as I’d like to be
Hell, I’d even be happy if a jerk had a crush on me
Some piece of evidence that says I am more than what I tell myself
An overweight geek, a distractible freak
Definitely not the sultry seduction in the reflection
Of the glass, looking out alone on the city with people all around me
Rap songs fall unfamiliar on my ears
Bejeweled with gems that weigh them down
Like the screwed-up brain chemicals affect my heart
Heavy
As the lights turn on and the DJ ends the last song
And we all pour out, river, ocean,
Going down back to earth from the top of the world
With the two score more of ding, ding, ding
Parents drive me home, ask, I say it was great
Lying doesn’t bother me much anymore
But when I go to my room for the night, midnight
My mascara wiped from the eyes, smeared down
Looking like the tears that could’ve been if I let myself