The Dark

We all know the most common fear of a naive child, right?

Its the dark.

We were all once there before, in that state of fear, clenching our mother’s palm until her skin turns red, thinking that her touch will protect us from the monsters under our bed.

We sprinted up the stairs after turning off the light, frightened of the possibilities that lurked in the black abyss of our kitchens. 

What a silly fear, right?

We were far too curious as children, letting our imaginations get the best of us when we lost the ability to see what’s in front of us. 

Now, we have grown up, and the dark represents something else. 

Dark is night.

And night is when we are most alive.

Night calls our name, begging us to run until we can’t feel our legs, scream until we can’t hear our voice, sing until our skin can feel the noise 

Night is a time for living, right?

You never see a raging party going on during daylight. 

We as teenagers love to rebel against nature’s schedule; sleeping when the sun is shining, running wild when the moon is glowing.

We have nothing to be afraid of anymore, right?

Right? 

Seeing all your blank stares in front of me now

I fear I am not like the rest 

With a pounding heart upon my breast 

I will tell you,

I did not leave the dark behind as you all did.

You all escaped the monsters, but all my monsters are still under my bed

But they are not the monsters you are thinking of.

These monsters you cannot see

In fact, they live inside of me

And they like to come out when the light leaves too soon

In my bedroom 

A bedroom is supposed to be a safe place 

A haven 

But my bedroom is a vessel 

Full of my biggest fears

And when the sun disappears 

The chains are broken 

My fears come out to play

Pounding on my brain 

Pulling down my chest 

Tugging on my shirt 

Oh my god, everything hurts 

I fear the night like I fear my death.

The silence leaking off my walls has never been so loud 

My mind has been waiting to speak all day and the quiet gives it an outlet 

You see, night and quiet come together 

And the darkness behind my eyes conjures up a recipe far too deadly for any human being 

Even though it’s quiet, my head is screaming.

I know this is supposed to be home, 

But right now, I feel so alone

Please don’t let me go 

My ears are ringing 

My anxiety is singing 

I can’t even try to close my eyes 

Why won’t you let me sleep?!

I am sorry if I cannot make it to your party

I’m sorry that I cannot drive to your house 

You see, I can’t seem to even stand up on my own two feet

I am tied to the ground like a caged animal 

But please don’t fear, come the morning I will be fine

My mind will go back to sleep in due time 

And I will repeat the same routine,

Almost every night 

But until then,

Let me lay here 

Under the moon’s hazy glow 

Because now you know 

That some people 

Are still afraid of 

The dark.