Dark Shadows
Because now that she asked her Angels to be set free, her soul shines bright and she sees herself in a new light⭐
there is so much despair in this world. She was living in a fantasy world.
she was was running from all the darkness that haunted her, to the dark she was becoming because it hurt so unbearably. The sunrise came out to shine but she was emotionless in every stride. Striving to be perfect became a slow pursuit to her death. Trying to fix something. To be thinner was one. You cannot fix what you cannot see, Like B said its the soul that needs the surgery . Searching the world for that one thing that would set her sad soul free. Running through a forest of meaninglessness searching for love, hoping for hope. The feeling of freedom never lasted long, and there was always something pulling her back. She was a zombie and motionless in every weakening moment. She ran away, numbed her pain, and started to waste away. They stood by and watched her waste away and were left to wonder why. She saw nothing but darkness, though the sun shined in her eyes, but maybe they’d forgotten, when they failed to see the cracks, that a star light shines brightest when it’s starting to collapse. Exercising until numb to ease the pain. A skipped meal to ensure i did not gain. A wasted week lying in bed. Will these demons ever leave her he’d?
She couldn’t hide her sunken eyes. She was dying, and finding beauty in her destruction. Killing herself with every meal she denied herself. The monster ate away at her acting body, until she hit the bottom and was to weak to pull herself up. The life was sucked out of her but she was oblivious to the toxins of the disorder that stole her away. She was left with only her bones, no flesh, no warmth, nothing to move, and still she says ‘not thin enough’. Nothing to love. She tried to hide her demons, but it showed in every inch of her malnourished body. The high neck shirts could not hide the blackness under her eyes and that darkness of her soul. That day I looked in the mirror, i became afraid. Stomach sunken in, legs smaller than my arms, the blankness under my eyes and the bruises from lying on my side. Dying and finding beauty in the destruction. This was not a game no more. I couldn’t hide my demons anymore. Her legs became smaller than a 10 year old girls arms. Those that saw will run and make fun. They called her a toothpick, a pole, an anorexic and a disaster. they poked her and her boundaries became broken. In denial and on trial. She never needed a therapist, just a friend. Now they’ve seen and now you must run. Numb the pain with the sugar not the sun. A viscous cycle she could not break.She never thought she was worth the fight. She was robbed of al that she chose to gain, until there was nothing of her to remain. Broken, on the bottom, in the dark… but now she has found her wings to rebuild and rise. But then we she thought
She did not know that all that time God was pursuing her. She thought that maybe she had to hit rock bottom, so that she could see with new eyes. She longed for a deep desire in which nothing but God could fulfil. If love can conquer every fear she pleaded please God wash away these tears . She surrendered control to something much greater than herself. She never believed in what she couldn’t see. When the time was right, she found herself in God’s presence with her mother in nature. It was in stillness where she found her divine being. She came out into the sunrise for the first time and felt no shame. She looked at herself through the eyes of God into her soul and loved herself, she realises that God lived in her. all of a sudden her negative thoughts and self loathing washed away and she felt an overwhelming presence of love and peace. Now her soul and smile shows, instead of her bones. Her eyes aren’t wet with tears and her skin is not tight beneath her bones with fear. Her stomach is not sunken in, and it jiggles when she is jumping. She has music in her heart, instead of the dark. Maybe her hips are wider, but so is her smile. Her love handles warm show she is nourished. She looked in the mirror and she says I love you just the way you are.
She was lifted out of the sea of despair. She stopped running from the pain and let the pain become her inspiration. Into the darkness she shines. She let her body grow, and found that she loved her new glow. kilo by kilo added added up to 15 extra kilos but she never felt more okay. She feels stronger and nourished in her womanly curvy body. She moves her temple with only love now that she knows there is a soul shining through. Meaning into her mind and harmony in her heart. The moonlight in the darkness. When she walks she feels the wind in her hair, and Mother Nature speaks to her. She feels so present and at one with everything in the world. She seeks fulfilment within and not from the outside world. She found that the light she was seeking was within. She found that she is a star wrapped in skin, and the light she was seeking was always found within.
Her eyes aren’t sunken with sorrow. She fills the wind in her hair, God in her heart. She sings a new song because now the music is in her heart. She chooses love over fear. Her heart over her mind. She counts her blessings instead of calories. Her food is nourishment instead of numbers. She fills her belly up. She runs with the colours of the wind. She began to measure herself in love and laughter rather than inches and pounds."
She gets better with each day she trusts that the universe will show her the way, that her scars will fade and perhaps as they fade she will be set free, and finally feel free. Because now she has fallen, she got her wings to fly. She spread her wings into a beautiful butterfly.. She nourishes herself with the beauties of life. This includes chocolate cake for goodness sake! An inner calm and peace came over her, now she is becoming to see and to believe, in who she is becoming and all shes got to be.
Self love is the revolution and cure.She smiles at the little voice inside her head that says you will never make it. She goes inward and looks at the garden of her mind.
She has been filled with a deep love and cherishes every moment of her new life. She now walks around the world in amazement at the miracle of life on earth, as if she was just born into the world. She took a risk into the unknown and lost her unhappy self but found her authentic self. The greater the storm, the brighter the rainbow. This rainbow for me was a message from the universe that perhaps you can go through a great deal of darkness, yet become something beautiful. You might feel like you have been wrapped up in a cocoon for so long, that you’ve forgot what it was like to breathe and love life again. Please never give up. Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly
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