Darkened Roads

Though I wander, I know you steady feet trod alongside me

Though I am silent, I hear your steadfast whisper in my ear

I have let my heart grow numb to you, my God.

I need you despite what the pulses of my heart may say.

Despite what my mind may grapple with in the dark of night.

Despite the sickly form of doubt that lingers in my mind.

I need you God.

I am fleeting as the dew, you are steadfast as the morn.

You have loved me with a love I cannot understand,

Would you enter my being and change the very nature of me?

Can you forgive my stubborn, ignorant nature?

My handle fondle sparsely covered skin

My eyes linger on writhing creatures of the night.

I cannot reconcile what I do.

I cannot claim to have loved you alone.

You have walked with my along these dark roads.

You have seen every ghost that haunts my head.

How deeply you know.

Yet You walk with me still.

As my eyes wander to the darkness,

You keep Your eyes fixed on my face/

Waiting for the moment when I see the folly of my ways.

My eyes are always tear-filled,

My heart still throbbing from the exertion of sin,

How sick I feel when I kneel at your feet,

With sinful passion still bursting in my breast.

My cheeks are flushed with humility and shame.

My breath still heaving from sin, I utter words of remorse.

Over and over I turn to the dark,

As predictable as the night, as void of light as the solstice,

Yet you beckon me with starlight,

Even in my darkness, I know you will shine,

Though my flesh will try to deceive me, I know your spirit will prevail,

God, you are willing, make me so.

God, I feel You gently claiming the facets of my life,

I feel the surrender of arms I am powerless to wield,

I want to make no argument,

My questions fall short of my tongue,

For you are sovereign and perfect in your ways,

I find joy in my lack of power.

I want to be taken by Your current.