This Darkness

There's this darkness that won't go away

every day it haunts me that I couldn't make you stay

you left without a goodbye but I had so much to say

now when alone I speak out loud hoping you hear me each day

but this darkness follows me around, without confirmation,

you haven't really heard a sound 

so I repeat myself and repeat myself crying and asking begging and pleading

did you know that I loved you that I love you still?!? I just want you back,

I never meant to miss that call, breaking down in sobs,

do you see me do see my misery, sometimes I feel I can't take any more,

how hard It is Pull myself up off the shower floor,

i let the water run down blending with tears, I'll never forget you,

No matter how many years, 

do you see the way I crack a smile in public

when I think of a sweet memory of you,

I'm trying to stay sane but it's so hard living with this pain

this darkness follows me around,

my only dim light 

is the hope that one day we will reunite

Rest in Peace Matthew