Darling

Remember that September embrace where I dug my nails into your back and planted roots right into your ribcage? The oxygen you breathed was oxygen for me and kept my roots buried, kept my mood merry, along with the veins in your body today. The blood pumping, flowing, going, danced around my roots, forced to make me move, further and closer and faster to your heart, follow you through your shaky system, fighting and finding my way to our start. Listen: I want to say no. No you don’t get to smell the flowers that know me by name; no you don’t get to touch the water that quenches the flames I have in my throat. You have given up; nope, you’ve given us away. Life is turning the other way, Life is giving its back to you, left your hand cold, by your side and left alone. So leave your pride; you have a body but without Life. So to reiterate: NO. You don’t get to look into my eyes and tell me how to stop, how to not, how to love, when, why, who, and where, what time and how fierce. So fuck your feelings since you’ve been fucking with mine behind my back like a silent attack, the worst kind. I planted seeds inside your soul hoping it would grow, grow, grow inside your whole entire body, expose you to your open home, but you poisoned my potential and I paid the price before you got to realise that it was me. I was giving you pieces of me that I can’t take back, that I won’t take back, that you can’t give back because that’s not allowed. I won’t allow for you to waste the effort I exerted, and though it hurt, just know I meant it; I never lent it ‘cause I knew that you were worth every word I ever spoke and ever wrote in every note about the things I wanted to give. Just know that it was real and that I cared, that I was aware; what I gave you were parts of me that I don’t reveal, but I wasn’t scared. You need them as I bleed them, more than I do, here’s an example; take a lesson from me and see what I think of, dream of, and wake up: Darling, this is how we’re meant to love. Darling, this is how we’re supposed to love.