Daughter to Father

You have ruined me It's your fault I can't Seem to find my way I can't seem to do the right thing It's your fault that I am wreck less It's your fault I'm a wreck God how can my brother get the most attention when I am your first? I'm the furthest But I guess that's why I don't matter I guess that's why we don't talk But holy shit! I'm the child so why do I have to be the adult Why do I have to be the one always hurting? I've dated three guys since I moved from New York Looking for happiness For wholeness But they can't fill that void Ever heard of "The person who hurt you is the only one who can fix you" No? Well it's a valid point Only you can replace the emptiness I feel With wholeness And it sucks you know I try my best and all I get is "good job" My brother could poop and he gets a standing ovation Don't get me wrong I love him to pieces but Why? Why don't I get that? I got honors I have good grades I speak well for my age But why? He spells a word right and it's like the world is finally spinning I fly over and the only day I get emotion out of you is the day before I leave Because then you apparently love me But any other fucking day of the year and you could barely give a fuck So please help me understand what I'm doing wrong? What is it? What can I do to prove to you I am your daughter For I am done being ruined. I think I found someone To feel safe with To hopefully spend forever with But it had nothing to do with you Just because you were ruined Doesn't mean I have to be too