dawn prayer

i woke to the sounds of nameless devotion bouncing off the walls

and into my lungs

and i felt the reverberations of the calling to an unheard God

and i laughed at the sung verses of this so called savior

cackling at the ridiculousness it held

this idea of faith

of an entity so all being that it made the bone and skin covering my body

that it wrote out destinies and called us for praise

well if that was true what a douche

if an enigma made us to sit with our legs crossed and our hands in our faces

and told us to murmur words of satisfaction for this Earth I would not give it to him

(and while im at it why is it a him?)

because this being has made me sixteen years of blood and pain

sat down and wrote that wrists were to be cut and skin scratched

and nights would be spent screaming names into the confines of the plaster on my bedroom walls

that i was still supposed to thank for what i had

when what i had was bruises that covered my back

and scars wrapped around my heart

and armor placed so that a facade could shelter me and my skin was left to suffocate

 

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