A Day In The Life.

Every morning I wake up;
I try to forget the past, and moved through the day.
I feel all alone but I smile anyways.
I keep my mind off the present and put it on what's next.
Even though I know all it is: 
is more mistakes and more regrets...
more pretending, living a lie and trying to please everyone else; with no avail.
God have mercy on me, I'm so overwhelmed.
But I can't afford to break.
I'm sweating in the heat but still; they raise the stakes.
Life is getting harder as time passes by.
Time ill spent and wasted...
All the time I put into chasing:
the high,the cash and the fast-life.
All the strife.
And before I knew it-
Days turned to weeks, to months, to years...
I try so hard to hold back the tears.
My painful emotions eventually run together,
Until I'm subdued-temporarily-blank.
And for the lack of lucidity; I have the drugs to thank.
But when they run their course,
I scream so loud my voice grows hoarse.
But nobody comes to my aid;
And again, I'm alone.
Back in reality where all I see are strangers, everywhere I go...
Nameless, faceless, heartless people with no souls.
Nobody familiar because all the people I did know,
And love; died off or are locked away...
I'm sitting here wishing for a better day.
Where I'm not afraid: 
Of being abandoned and left with nothing.
A day where I finally receive the one thing:
I've always wished for- Love...
I sit here praying to the only one who cares to listen, God above.
I want the simple things in life:
to be done with the struggle- to have what I need...
To not have to feel the pain of my tattered heart when it bleeds.
To not be tormented by the burning guilt of my past.
To be with the one I love;
And share a love that lasts...
Is that too much to ask-
for?
I just pray to be happy.
I guess I gotta keep on living and see;
If I'll ever make it to that place...
Keep on living to see if I have a purpose, and stop feeling as if I'm just taking up space.