A Day As Me

Close your eyes.

Breathe.

Another day, another mask.

Smile brightly when people walk by.

Finally let your face fall once your alone.

Stop.

Don't think for a second that they care.

Don't let your guard down like a draw bridge.

Smile.

Laugh.

Conceal your shattered self.

No one could ever love any piece of you.

Close your eyes.

Breathe.

They only tolerate you out of pity.

Brush out your hair and put on some makeup.

Glance in the mirror.

Try to find something worth loving in the ruins of yourself.

Don't let on that you're not okay.

Go to school.

It's your only escape from the torment that is your reality.

Close your eyes.

Breathe.

It's facile they tell you.

50 mg of this.

80 mg of that.

No one'll be able to see that you're not good enough.

Smile.

Laugh.

They said something funny.

It's what you're supposed to do.

Just keep up this masquerade a little longer.

Stop.

You can't exhibit any emotions in front of them.

You're perfect.

Remember?

Listen.

Let them divulge their issues to you.

Solve their problems instead.

Their's are paramount in comparison to yours.

Listen.

You can overhear them saying things.

Saying things.

About you.

"Worthless," they say.

"A monster."

"Stupid."

"Annoying."

"Loud."

"Trash."

You can't bear to keep listening.

But you do.

Their list goes on and on like a line with no end.

You feel your heart drop like a stone in water.

You're still the same.

The same worthless, miniscule, piece of trash you've always been.

That you'll always be.

Don't start crying now.

You know it's true.

You didn't try hard enough.

How could you think there's anything extraordinary about you?

Close your eyes.

Breathe.

It's time to try again.

A new mask.

A new...

Me.