Days

Days

I have days where I want to give up
But I also have days where that seems so far away
Because the distance between giving up and staying here is the length of a wide embrace I'm ready to face

I have days where I can barely crawl out of bed
Pain in my heart, demons in my head
And It feels like it will never pass,
The darkness always lasts

Then I have days where things are okay,
I mean I don't feel like I'm hanging on by the edge of a rope
But rather,
Some encouraged hope
Telling me to hold on
Because I've survived 100 percent of my worst days so far

I have days where the bottom of a bottle sounds more appealing then getting to the bottom of my soul
Because the energy I have left is barely enough to spark a fire
Or really,
Any sort of desire

Then I have days where things skyrocket
And for the first time in a long time I get moments of happiness, bliss
Wishing the world would always be like this
Because some how now things feel right
Hopeless turns to hopeful
Despair turns into joy
And thoughts of leaving turn into thoughts of continuing
For I have the world to go

I have days where I'm close to my end
Schoolwork piles up
I shut people out
And all I'm left with is one giant silent shout,
A plea for help never to be heard
The kind you give before you end your life

Then I have days like this where the darkness fades away
The hurricanes in my chest settle down
Just enough to catch my breath
And I can finally breathe again knowing I'm back to my usual self
The kind that's a warrior fighting on
Not letting the voices in my head tell me otherwise because guys, there's so much to life and, to put it simply, I want to start living