Deadly Alive

Normal Isnt Even Close To Me
A Ghost I See
I struggle to be who im supposed to be
People seem to fade away
Once they get a ceartain close to me
Staring At the stage 
With the curtins closed
Tears Slicing My Cheecks
BLOOD All Over my feet
I wish somebody
Could truly understand me
No Doctor has The Right med
No peace no nice rest
Not even in a nice bed
My head is filled with so much
Im so close to 
Well idk what
Cos i over think
Fuck life
Wait fuck me
My past it cuts deep
Sorry mom ill never be the son you wanted
Im for ever sad for ever haunted
Grateful For What Ive been Givin
Waiting for somethin ive been missing
I die i nside when i realize
I cant capture my visions
Blacking out
Passing out
Searching around
Ima blind mouse
Also immortal
And this portal to earth
I wish i didnt find out
With out expiericing what i did
Its immposible to picture how my life is
Some times i gaze into my future
On a night glimpe
Theres nobody there
No wife , kids
Not even me The one who writes this 
My whole life is a fantasy
Yet real af 
Like a battle be
My mind is my enemy
My regrets weigh heavy
I cant reverse time
Thats why i be crying so steady
My darkness is such a bad spot
Sometimes i twitch like a fish
I got back knots
I hate this plane but love its back drop
Sometimes i pick up my bag
Then let my back drop
Im uncortable is fuck
Im the bag yall
Ive been using drugs
To escape
I stare in the mirror with shivering fear
I lie to my face
Tell my self im okay
I dont crave pitty me
Thats silly see
I just need a never ending hug
And a better me