Deafening silence

My friend, Look where I have landed myself. I spent my years craving the silence, a chance to be away from myself, a pause from the reality that life keeps knocking into my head, a chance to be free within this spacious little box that I just called my head. I prayed, and I heard the sound of the strings I played. God himself has come to lull me to bed, a bed of silence that I now see as despair. This silence is deafening, I can not hear even my thoughts now. I want to pray again, with hope that God will take this pain away.