Dear...

Dear shadow of a man I wish I know more, Dear man who loved too much that it couldn't be contained in his body, Dear shadow of a shadow of a man who had to hide the truth of my family all my life, Dear man who I can’t remember to this day because he was never around, Dear man who tried so hard to help but I was too selfish to see, I am sorry for not being sorry, I am truly sorry for cursing your name in vain when I should be ashamed for my actions. Sorry, sir but who were you to me? Were you the “father” you promised you would be to me when I was 4 and naïve, Were you the “father” you promised you would be when you tried to buy my heart and love, Were you the “father” you promised you would be when you lied to me about my “stepmothers” and little “brothers”? Were you the “father” you promised you would be when you cheated on my mom, your “wife”, and your “girlfriend” all at once? Let me answer that for you, sir, No you were not. And to this day after you had quitted your earthly duties for 5 years, I have blamed myself for existing, For being the reason my mother was still affiliated with you, For sharing the same last name as yours, I was ashamed for not even being able to remember you face, Or your voice, Or your smile, When really it is your fault for not being around so i could remember your presence, Now I know, I only have one regret, And that is yelling at my mother for not letting me talk to you, I wanted to apologize but what do i really have to apologize for ? That's right I have nothing to apologise for. So un-sincerely and forever goodbye, your unwanted child.