Dear Abuser

Dear Abuser,

I bet you had never felt bad for your drunken rage,

not about the pain or the psychological cage,

I bet you've never had to be walk too quietly,

move so silently,

or crawl so lightly.

I bet you haven't felt heartbreak, when you flinch at a loving touch,

because abuse runs so deep, like concrete, turning my blood to mush.

I collpase, and it breaks my boyfriends heart,

because he has to watch his girlfriend fall apart.

I bet you haven't once thought about how we feel,

but I can tell you I prayed every night I would awake to it not being real,

and I can tell you I would cry, I would hide, and I would wish I'd just die.

I can not look at white painted homes with white picket fenses,

the color reminds me of you,

it reminds me of the abuse,

all you used to do,

all the things you had put us through.

Dear Abuser,

I can speak 3 languages, and I can play 4 different instruments,

no thanks to you or those rules you felt the need to implement.

I can beat my calculator to answers,

and I can dance better than those dancers.

My fingers can type faster than you can pound a beer,

and I can tune any instrument perfectly to ear.

You can't hold a candle to the life that I have now,

Your memory is a fish I have tossed back out to sea,

can't you see,

that what you did to me,

no longer defines who I am,

because I am me,

and not you nor anyone else decides who I get to be.

Auf wiedersehen,

Adios,

Addio,

Goodbye.