Dear Alexis

Dear Alexis, 

Four years ago when I met you, 

you held inside the hope, inspiration, motivation, and confidence too.

You made me laugh

that’s all it was,

it started with pure happiness, as every friendship does

We didn’t talk about family, stress, or our own dead ends,

focused more on the laughs, adventures, and current thrilling trends

We didn’t talk about what went on daily in your mind,

never knew I should’ve been afraid of what I’d come to find;

blinded by your light and heart that was so kind. 

As time went on, things quietly began to change,

new year, new feelings, everything becoming so strange. 

We got closer and our talks were about more,

deeper than boys, middle school drama, and the new yellow sweatshirt you found at the store.

Every day your eyes began to tell a story on their own,

whispered the secrets of the nights you were alone

I began to see all the pain below your smile, 

wish it hadn’t taken me all that long while 

As days and weeks kept going by,

you hid your feelings with the same small lie

I knew you thought you could do it alone,

but I could see it in your eyes, hear it in your tone;

that you didn’t wanna do it anymore,

you were drowning, already too far away from the shore

The happy carefree person that you should still have been, 

you told me was gone by the time you were ten

I learned about your past and finally understood,

that nothing in your life was easy, it didn’t go like it should. 

And now, to this day, I can see it in everything we do,

that your soul is too tired, and no ‘I’m fine’ is very true 

You joke about your feelings so no one will know,

smile through the day and put on a show

Your view of the world has grown so dark, 

your heart has lost its passion, your mind lost its spark 

And when I sit with you too late at night,

when your sadness wins and I know you feel like you’ve lost the fight.

I sit with you and feel you crying, I pray to God your mind will change to anything but dying,

because when you tell yourself everyone would be okay without you, I swear you’re lying. 

So now here I’ll sit telling you that one day you’ll see the light,

that everything you hold inside will burn so bright,

that in the end, it is worth the fight. 

You’ll see all that you are,

you’ll be happy and free, your dreams will take you so far.

I’ll always be here,

no matter where you go, I’ll always be near

And I can promise you that there is so much more,

that we can do it all when we get you back to shore.

So Alexis, please just don’t let go,

cause I swear happiness will be the greatest thing you’ll know.

Shoot for the stars babygirl, I know you have it in you.