Dear Anorexia

Dear Anorexia,

Please please please leave me alone. I am begging you to please leave me alone. You have convinced me that I am not worthy of love and stability. You have taken away my sense of self worth and joy. You have torn me from my family and stolen what was supposed to be the best years of my life. Living with you has made my mind a battlefield. Every single minute is filled with conflicts between you and my healthy self. I try to argue with you, but I keep ending up losing the battle. Logically, I find myself in a continuous state of distress but you convince me that I am nothing without you. You have made me believe that I am disgusting and fat. When the truth is, no matter how much weight I gain or lose, no matter what dress or waist size I wear, you will never be satisfied and keep telling me the same thing.

It feels like I’ve been taken hostage by an evil dictator who now controls my every move, every thought, choice, and action. I didn’t see it coming; it started slowly. Your voice in my head, I slave tirelessly to abide by your rules. My brain became fixated on food, on my body, my movement; my life revolves around these things now. But now is my time to take my life back and that means kicking you out of my life. So leave. Leave now and never come back because I don’t need you and I never did.