Dear Anxiety

Dear Anxiety,

You have changed my life,

not for the better.

Frightened blues and nervous yellows burst from my chest at your command,

and no matter how much I plead for one more minute of silence,

you tell me it will never be silent.

You tell me I have no friends,

except for you.

Anxiety,

you are there every time my breath constricts,

every time I look over my shoulder in fear,

every time I can feel my heart beat in my ears.

You say that you will always be there for me,

but you do not mean it kindly.

You do not mean to hold me when the darkness comes creeping closer,

and the chains scratch at my wrists.

You mean to be the darkness.

You mean to be the chains.

Anxiety,

You are the reason everything is draped in black.

You are the reason that closing my eyes is no better than seeing a horror.

And I do not like this about you,

I do not like your control.

So take it away.

Go back to your darkness,

and take your chains.

Keep your blues and yellows,

and your melancholy cloth.

I want more than that,

I always have.

I want vibrant colors,

and beauty.

I want a rainbow.

And you don't get to keep it from me anymore.

Goodbye, Anxiety.

May we never meet again.