Dear Cancer,

 

You’ve made me grieve

You still make me cry

I’ve shed tears into my pillow at night till’ my eyes were puffy and burnt out

and when I woke up and I went to school

my friends would ask, “Are you tired?,” as they saw my swollen, jaded eyes.

How could I not be upset? You took my mother’s body

And you shackled her to your disease.

You took all the energy and breath in my mother’s body and made it ten times harder to exert

You took that energy

And you took more

You took part of her trembled, working fingers and weakened and chipped their nails

You took her breast and you gashed it

You then took her hair, patch by patch

Until every strand of strawberry blonde hair was gone off her freckled body and head and above her bright blue eyes

Until my mother’s once confident and strong character

Were bewittled to insecurity and embaressment

Until I felt choked on my words and blurred in my eyes

Until I had to run and hide in my room when I felt like breaking down from just looking at her

Since the day my mother’s face and body were mangled with your aches and tubes that intertwined to machines and poles and medical bags

You tried and you tried and you took almost everything.

Of course you made me feel sorry

Who would not feel grief and madness?

You gave my mother pain and hell and you made me and my family feel pity

You did take my mother’s energy and her features

And you took years of life away from her that she can never take back

But you did not take my mom

 

You did not take the person who is still fighting and standing

And most people only know the worst of you

But now my mom can walk and use her own two feet

She’s grown her hair out and the color of her face is a pale lifeless hue no longer

She can work and dance and yell and do everything the average person can do

Her same character and personality beams right through

And she gives me so much more, she gives me so much so that my life is ten times easier.

And thank you for making me learn

Thank you for making me realize exactly what I have in front of me

A mother that works hard and cares for me and has fought through deprivation

And you’ve taught me to be nicer, to be a million times more thankful and kind and supportive to my mom

I will give her more than what she’s given to me all my life, I will make her happy and I’ll make sure I’ll persevere in life and do everything in my power to offer

So that my mom’s feet don’t hurt and her back doesn’t give in

So that she’ll see me walking across the stage with a hat and gown and she’ll see me succeed

Whether it’ll be a couple of feet away from me or right above me, she will see.

But I know my mom is still lively and hopeful

And because of that I will be too

She’s been through the worst

And she’s washed away the blood, tears, and discharge you left

I cannot stay mad or hurt at you

And neither can she

She took in everything hurled at her

She took in the worst

At the end of it all,

She’ still breathing

She’s still thriving

She’s alive.