Dear Change

Dear Change,

I used to embrace you.

My young self loved you.

You came often and always had a good outcome.

Middle school, high school, softball teams.

You were there for all of it.

Suddenly you became what I feared most.

Even seeing a glimpse of you terrified me.

Paralyzed me.

Altering my everyday look became a challenge.

Others’ opinions consumed me.

The “what ifs” were more negative than positive.

You became an excuse, not a reason.

Then I recognized you.

Out of nowhere, you hit me, hard.

You told me change is inevitable,

That I could either fear you or love you.

It was my choice.

Summer went by,

I thought about what you said.

I still didn’t embrace you.

Then,

A flood.

I experienced you, and I had no choice.

You ruined my home, my city, my life.

Or so I thought.

You forced me to get used to a new normal.

You displaced me from my home,

And you infested me emotionally.

A few months went by,

A few hard months.

A breakthrough.

Finally.

You came around again.

You put my family back in our home.

I still didn’t embrace you at that point.

But then,

I bought a journal.

I wrote in it, drew in it,

Told myself to push through.

My writings were aimed at you.

How to conquer you.

They still are.

But now,

Instead of dreading you,

I love you.

During the good, and the bad.

Because you make me strong.

You make memories.

You make a life that has been lived.