I used to embrace you.
My young self loved you.
You came often and always had a good outcome.
Middle school, high school, softball teams.
You were there for all of it.
Suddenly you became what I feared most.
Even seeing a glimpse of you terrified me.
Altering my everyday look became a challenge.
Others’ opinions consumed me.
The “what ifs” were more negative than positive.
You became an excuse, not a reason.
Then I recognized you.
Out of nowhere, you hit me, hard.
You told me change is inevitable,
That I could either fear you or love you.
It was my choice.
Summer went by,
I thought about what you said.
I still didn’t embrace you.
I experienced you, and I had no choice.
You ruined my home, my city, my life.
Or so I thought.
You forced me to get used to a new normal.
You displaced me from my home,
And you infested me emotionally.
A few months went by,
A few hard months.
You came around again.
You put my family back in our home.
I still didn’t embrace you at that point.
I bought a journal.
I wrote in it, drew in it,
Told myself to push through.
My writings were aimed at you.
How to conquer you.
They still are.
Instead of dreading you,
I love you.
During the good, and the bad.
Because you make me strong.
You make memories.
You make a life that has been lived.