Dear Cigarettes

Dear Cigarettes, At what point will nicotine not calm my nerves and help me to keep my head down and my heart from being paralyzed by the fear that I won’t succeed? At what point will hearing someone say "sweetie" not cause me to fill with unease and longing. When do the cravings stop? Not for another light but for human interaction. At what point will I be able to tell myself that I have had just one too many and that the pack is empty. Before I try to go and smoke away the whole box. When does the pain of moving on and forgetting those who you can no longer hold onto anymore become merely lingering thoughts in the back of my unconscious mind. What do I make of the pack that is no empty? Where do I go from here. Sincerely, A Lost Soul