Dear Cisgender Man

Dear cisgender man:

you are NOT the horniest

your dick is not a GPS or heat-seeking missile

You are in control.

You just misconstrued science to avoid consequences. 

So don’t give me that “but, biology”

Evolution made humans social brainiacs

You are not “alpha chads”

you’re acting like fucking neanderthals.

Remember the movie Tarzan?

He was the most primal you can get, 

and he still knew Jane didn’t belong to him. 

Dear Cisgender man,

you and I are in the demolition crew 

against toxic masculinity. 

Won’t take much cuz it’s real fragile

but the messes require a lot of clean up

And everyone needs you to take responsibility.

Healthier masculinity will end a lot of suffering.

If not for others, do it for yourself

Dear cisgender man,

nobody fits into all the narrow definitions

of a “Real Man”

What has that brought you other than shame,

insecurity, and the fury to blame and control others?

What kind of life are you living 

if you need to protect your ego 

with callous rationalizations for your behavior?

I know you want the same things we all do.

But you can’t force meaning or connection. 

Can’t bend people to your will. 

To quote Terry Crews, 

“you can’t love someone 

and control them at the same time”

Dear cisgender man, 

I hope you hear this as a “call in”

This isn’t about your value it’s about your behavior and attitudes

This is not the best we can do.

Men can do better

I know we can. 

It starts with you.