Dear Dad...

I've tried to hide my emotions and keep 'em bottled up

but I can't do that anymore, I just feel so out of luck.

I remember being in elementary

kids dads would come pick them up 

and I'd be waiting for my brothers down the street.

I never knew what it was like to have your father really care

I wonder what its like to have him actually there

My friends all talk about how their dad is so good

while I'm stuck here wondering where the hell mine even is

How come you just show up when I'm seven years old?

What about those other kids.

My brothers and sisters you left behind.

Mikhail, Kyle, Jessica, Alissa.

What about them?

Oh right, I forgot.

Seven year olds are easier to deceive. 

I grew up from then just yelling at my mom as she tried to tell me what you've done

"He's a good man, mommy I swear."

The truth was just too much to bare

I couldn't take it

I knew they were right

Living in spite

secretly knowing things that weren't right

I'm really starting to agree

You were nothing but a sperm doner 

I mean,

What kind of real father leaves his daughter without a bother

Crying and wondering why the only men that care are her brothers

But you see, I feel selfish. My brothers had it worse. 

Living each day getting kicked to the curb

By you and the men before you

No water and food

barely even a shelter

What real man lets an 8 year old raise his daughter?

Oh wait,

you aren't a real man

Just a childish boy who never learns to act his age

Now you realize I've come to know the truth in you

I'm not afraid anymore

I'm not afraid you'll hit or scream at me

like you did to my mother

I'm standing up now and letting myself know the truth

You have no rights to me,

stop using that as an excuse

You don't even pay child support

"I love you daughter"

if you really loved me, 

why would you leave

Leaving me in the cold with the warmth of my brothers

you never loved them as your own you selfish racist bastard

I can't take it anymore, I can't even look you in the eye.

The shit you did

theres no going back now

it may be in the past

but the pain still lasts

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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