Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

You were once there to hold me and call me your princes.

You were there to pick me up and show me the colorful world.

You were there to hug me tight.

Then in the blink of an eye, you were gone.

You were there to see me graduate kindergarten.

You weren’t there to see me graduate eighth grade.

You were there to hold me when I cried for six years.

You haven’t been here to hold me when I cry for the last twelve.

You have been the reason for so many tears.

I wonder if you regret what you did that night.

I wonder if you care at all.

Did you think of me at all?

I don’t think you understand how much of an effect you have had on me.

You took away so much of my happiness that night.

The night you decided to take your own life has forever changed mine.

I haven’t felt at peace since.

I feel broken like a heavy cloud rests above me.

I haven’t been able to feel whole again.

I hate what you did.

I wish you would’ve decided to come home safely that night.

I wish to feel closure once again.

I wish to feel your arms wrap around me once again.

I wish to remember your voice again.

I wish to say the words dad again.

You’ll never be able to walk me down the aisle,

Or see my dress at prom.

You won’t see me graduate high school.

You won't see me succeed despite the pain you've caused me to feel.

I hope you see how you’ve broken me.

I hope to one day forgive you.

I hope to trust someone when they tell me they won’t leave my side.

I hope to feel closure one day.